why did you have to go,you said because you had learnt the things you came here to learn.you said we make our choices before we come to earth,that we choose to experience events,and choose how long our lives will be,and how we will die.i cant beleive how calmly you talked about all this,were you trying to convince me ==or convince yourself?or maybe trying to help me prepare for your passing?not get upsetwhen we met up...or think about all the days that all i can think is that you are no longer here?it just doesnt seem true ali,that you are gone and i will never see or talk to you again.you said you will be there waiting when my time comes,i want to beleive it.its so hard.every day is so hard,your children should not die before you.my heart is so heavy and sad and there is so much i want to say to you.love and miss you so much from mum xxxxxxx